first

i have had seventeen years of "firsts." some of these firsts have led to seconds & thirds & fourths & fifths & sixths, while some have never lived long enough to see the sequel. i lost ( & swallowed ) my first tooth while eating bubble gum flavored ice cream. my first kiss was on april 27 and i was so nervous that after we pulled away from each other, all i could do was laugh. the first time i drove on the freeway, i accidentally entered onto the exit ramp & started crying when the oncoming traffic honked at me. my first heartbreak was on a friday, & my head & eyes ached as i cried to my best friend while she made me a turkey sandwich. it was 2:48 in the morning when i heard my favorite song in the world for the very first time. there are some firsts i can't recall. like i can't remember the first slurpee i ever had, or the first time i was disappointed in my parents, instead of the other way around. but here i am writing my very first post on my very first blog on the back of a crumpled receipt & i know that when i hit the orange publish button, i will be making a first impression to potentially hundreds of strangers, & i'm terrified.