x's & o's

i promised myself i wouldn't write another love poem

because i don't think i've ever been in love

i don't think i've ever been in love because

i've never told a boy about fourth grade

i've never felt lightning in someone's fingertips when we've kissed

i've never let anyone take more than their fair share of blankets

i've never even written a real love poem

only "i really, really, really like you" poems

only "but you don't really like me" poems

only "i hope you think i'm pretty" poems

only "my first kiss was in the walmart parking lot" poems

only "let's make out in your mom's minivan" poems

only "i don't want to take it slow" poems

only "i have a thing for skinny boys with long hair & brown eyes" poems

only "i had to ask your name after we made out" poems

only "you left a hickey on my neck but couldn't shoot me a text" poems

so i've never been in love

but when he talks to me about the little stuff, 

i can't help but think we're talking about the big stuff

yes, i want to know how you like your nachos

yes, i want to hear the song that makes you see yellow

yes, i want to swap secrets in my driveway

so come to my bedroom

we can lay on my mattress under a sky of plastic glow in the dark stars

& i will tell him about fourth grade

& it doesn't matter that i can't feel lightning

& he can take every square inch of blankets if that's what he needs

because i really don't want this to be just another poem