&x2

tonight i filled my bathtub with milk
& just floated there a while

i'm sorry for all the drunk texts
& i'm sorry for all the sober ones too

i haven't drank since early february
& now i am the official designated driver™

moving home has been an ok thing
& i'm paying rent for a house i don't live in

i start my new job in nine hours
& i'll be working 40 hours a week

lately i've been crying lots
& i'm taking the white birth control pills which means i'll start my period soon probably

i keep my room tidy in case i never come back
& like it best when all the windows are open

i found the most perfect playlist
& sang today while driving my parent's car

please do not take photographs of me
& please no videos either

colby & i have gotten in two "fights" in two days

& i feel really bad about it

i don't wear much makeup anymore
& i don't want you to think that means i'm comfortable in my skin

this afternoon was the saddest i've been in awhile
& i don't want a repeat of it all

i don't know what i'm doing
& i don't know where i'm going

but hopefully i'll be yellow light
& speak only honey



please take care of yourselves, i love you all