letters to people who have made me happy & letters to people who have made me cry

I.

i listened to all your voicemails tonight,
even the 2 am whispers
especially the ones under the influence of percocet

i'm sorry for the mean things i said
somedays i wish i could stitch my lips
please, teach me to atone ( the right way, not in my bathroom )

i think you are lovely
( even if you like vanilla frosties )
remember the day spent under our picnic sheet ?

that was so happy, you are so happy

please, take it easy ( you'll love again, but next time i hope it's yourself )



II.

acquaintances through the internet,
friends through mutual exile
i think it was march 15

you've been good to me,
i try my best to be good to you
we take turns taking care of each other

remember screaming buddy wakefield poems ?
monday night intoxications made
our words slur & steven worry ( did we kill the party ? )

i never wished you a happy birthday

please, take it easy ( learn to feel better, you deserve to feel better )



III.

2,072 miles away,
the east coast is treating you well
& you've been gone a lot longer

i'm sorry lately all we talk about is the sad things
i know we're both trying to be better
( speaking of better, please have a bite to eat )

you write the most lovely poems ( bright eyes bum hangs on my wall )
& it's true, you're a playlist professional
take your purple patched quilt & get some sleep for once

tell jordan i say hello

please, take it easy ( you never told me, did god ever call you back ? )



IV.

it would be uncharacteristic of me
to not write about you
( i'm still not always ok )

it's not your fault i'm like this, but i blame you
thank you for april, fuck off for may
you made me feel really pretty this week

i never thanked you for teaching me to climb trees
i smoke cigarettes often, maybe because of you
do you still think about it all ?

i'm sorry for all the poems, but you'll always be beautiful in the sweater

please, take it easy ( i'm sorry i didn't love nothing )